The dream that repeats

The story starts with me leaving my house for like 3- 5 minutes and it is dark, foggy, and hot... And what I do is I come back home to my whole family murdered and all over the house. My sister has gun shots in her, my mum is stabbed, my dad has been beat to death and my older sister is decapitated. This ends up scaring the crap out of me, so I leave to go look for help and no one listens.
When I lose hope as a lady comes up to me and asks me what is wrong, and I pour out telling her what is wrong. I expected her to walk away, and.or abandon me, but she didn't she took me home with her and called the police. The next day we have people banging on the door and window. It was children's services. And she told them I wasn't there,so they believed her and left.
I realized that I could see my house from her, so I asked her if I could go home and get my animals, because I could see my puppers put back howling and crying. She says yes and I go to leave and I run into the family friend and he asks me why I am alone and I tell him. He ends up escorting me home. When we get there, there is a lot of blood, and it is really hot.
When we get the 3 cats and one dog we leave and as soon as we are like halfway down the road my house blows up and we see someone is following us with a pocket knife. We start running and we make it away, but as we get to the ladys house.. The door is open so I yell for her and there is no response. And when we walk further into the kitchen she is laying on the ground tied up with rope and tape on her mouth while she has a lot of blood pouring out of her. And the cycle repeats.
Every time someone took me in they would die...... Like everyone, friends, boyfriend, other family members. This dream happens like 5 to 6 times a week. And then I sometimes see little glimpses of my dream throughout the day in my head. And it is disturbing.................. Like it is really disturbing it's like my dreams are trauma reactions. which I can see.

I walk out of my bedroom in the middle of the night,
And my family is gone, I look outside,
Nobody is there,
I call my parents on the phone,
No answer,
I walk outside,
Black cars,
People in black waiting,
They see me,
I run in the house,
But they catch up and corner the doors,
I run to my room upstairs and crawl onto the roof,
And try to hide up there,
A weird shadow comes up and grabs me,
Pulls and drops me onto the ground where people in black are waiting,
I see more shadows around them hovering,
A person in black grabs me and puts a gun to my head,
Saying "Where are they"
Im too scared to respond,
He asks again "Where are they! where are they!"
I try to speak put I cant,
He shoots my foot, and keeps asking,
I still cant talk,
And he shoots me again and I wake up

i dont lik scarie deams

Reflected what if I am if I are,
words unsung wrote no more
throat cut out, chopped up
silence.
punch. punch. punch.
I don't notice my knuckles are bleeding
until I step on flecks of crimson near my feet.
punched anger dry
I am no longer able to cry
silence.
The crimson spreads along the floor,
my hands covered in the red nectar.
eyes forced open.
see what you are
and will always be.
silence.
I can't close them.
I can't.
I can't.
chest is c o n s t r i c t i n g.
the red
is pooling out
of my eyes as if
it were a
w
a
t
e
r
fall
my hands, my hands are grasping my head,
my mind is being squished and stretched and lit on fire
why can't I just dig it all out of my head
with my fingernails every scratch of my mind brings
forth a new bout of blood im tearing out my hair i-
silence.
there is a dream, over and over again
a dream that I cannot dig out of my head
I have become numb to most feelings
some days, more than others, feel
everything, and then turn off the light
nothing.
that is the silence.
the growing silence that replaces red anger
the crimson that pools on the floor
the growing silence that devours reason
the fireworks behind the minds door.
the silence that I find myself
sitting in, the silence of
the heart, the sedated
beat of a sorrowful
rain on houses
during white
nights