Disfigured Puppies

My mind is a stranger
Where puppies used to live, prance, and love
But
Bear claws left their vengeance there
Dried blood fluids paint pictures where
Oversized claws abrade my future
Seized memories left shaken long ago

The phoenix however, it stares back
Waiting to pounce and grow
In spite of the lacerations
Walk over the bridge to the other side, if you will
The bridge, it partially disintegrates as I walk over it
The dust scatters behind my heels
Past crumbles away with each step I take

The other side of the bridge awaits my arrival
Where there’s music and connections and happy thoughts
And the hidden puppies play with three legs
In spite of the cuts and scratches and bumps of the past
Still prancing and playing with smiling eyes and tails wagging
Transformed, almost there!
The false summit tricks and pranks however
Another obstacle came to light
My mind, it is
Reluctant and afraid of the future
There might be more bears from my hamstrung mind
Lurking forward, waiting to hinder the future

As I look back at landscapes past
It stares back at me, disfigured and real
Leaning forward, I put my elbow on the table
Arm shaped in a V with my hand open
Reaching forward for grip with my puppies past
And geared up
For the fight
Opposite lay the formidable opponent
The disfigured puppies
Reaching with their elbows rested across from me
A blemished hand engulfs mine
Squeezes with strength and purpose
Geared up to fight back
We lock in and arm wrestle strongly
Thunder claps and claps as we
Grunt and sweat, 
And the past rears its head
As I push so so hard and fight in frustration
As my arm lays back
And taps the table in defeat
Again as
The before time memories linger and distract 
They do not fully release me
I’m pleading and and brawling for them to
But they still smell like tequilia and cigarette smoke
The puppies tail stops wagging for now

But I have support! 
Let the puppies free, Let the puppies free
Chants the crowd
The puppies in my mind are phoenixes in disguise
They will surface again and spit in the pasts faces
The table is still there
The disfigured puppies are still there
My elbow, it slams back down on the table
Geared up for round 23
The Phoenix eyes widen with hope
As we lock fists again