Dirty mistakes

Life was good, until that one mistake,

It  threw me back into the trenches I fought hard to escape.

there’s always that stain,

That makes me feel dirty again.

Dirty laundry, dirty secrets in my system

Buried deep, beneath the weight of regret.

I could smell the flames from the bridges I had burnt

It was risky but greed was louder than wisdom

Is this my turning point?

After being burned,

The ears are now  willing to listen to reason

I can’t ignore that it’s the emptiness that drives me to it

Thinking I can push in anything to get rid of the void

I wish I ignored the “I want, I want ,i want”

A persistent cunning thought that aroused my mind

I listened and I shouldn’t have let wanting let the devil get what it wants

The destruction of the road to discover real peace

When the cycle repeats

Worthiness is overshadowed by the feeling of being worthless

Left with nothing to say, I stay silent

Every Word feels like a noisy gong    

Having not deep love for self .

I thought the feeling would take too long

The feeling of wanting to go back home.

I no longer want to be called a lost cause 

that let’s the dirty mistakes define and ruin me

i no longer want to be that lost soul

That couldn’t find its way back home