NOT YET READY

Too afraid to face the world,

Too cold to stay inside,

For the door to warmth is closed,

And the emptiness here is deafening.

I chose the empty hall,

Escaping the fakeness outside,

For I was tired of the show,

And maybe it was time to try something new.

I mean, the dance was always the same,

The betrayals were inevitable,

Shouts and fights felt familiar,

And skepticism became second nature.

So, I opted for silence,

Where I could control the outcome,

Decide what enters, what stays

For who wouldn’t want to be the driver?

Yet in these days of quiet,

I find myself longing for the familiar,

The rush of adrenaline,

The uncertainty of what comes next.

Still, I was exhausted,

And the need for my own peace was louder,

So I thought

Maybe it was time to step inside again.

But maybe it wasn’t.

Maybe my soul wasn’t ready,

For emptiness is not worth the risk,

Nor the coldness buried in these corners.

Maybe my heart wasn’t prepared

To face itself, to be honest,

To acknowledge what’s been swept under the rug,

Or the demons that keep me awake at night.