Poser

Hunched over this laptop

I feel like a faker

Unshowered for days

Ash without trays

And I dare call myself a maker

Putting aside my harmful critique

I look to see what food to eat

There is none

Not surprised

I ain’t grocery shop in weeks

A bottle of water

And a bowl of green

Kept my stomach off my spleen

While I watch youtubes of eating clean

Opposing to my self esteem

So I woke up today

Led by yesterday’s pray

That today was my day 

To decide if I would go

Or stay

With my mind made up 

I warmed some tea

A lil honey and ginger in the cup

So hot that it cooled my anxieties 

So I can put my mind at ease

It’s always begging, asking

Please

If it wasn’t in my head it’d be down on it’s knees

But thats too bad 

cuz I’m not sure what it needs

So I go for a run

Younger me thought it was fun 

But i got older and seen the guns

So getting into fitness was the

way beat being the witness

But I live a good life

So it’s been a while

Since my legs had to keep 

Up with my mind 

So young yet senile

But I had no destination to go

Keep it light for a mile

But with being on albuterol

Feels like my lungs couldn’t take it all

Why continue at all?

Shocked by this conclusion

Try to imagine my confusion 

When I got from my delusion 

To see that I’m still movin