at the end of every visit
he told me
“this isn’t goodbye
it’s see you later”
and i’d cry
only for him
to press soft fingertips
against my streaming eyes
hold my hand in his
kiss the knuckles
thread fingers through mine
this time
it isn’t see you later
it’s goodbye
so i press my own fingertips
against streaming eyes
but it doesn’t quite feel the same
i hold my own hand
but there’s no warmth
i try to comfort myself
but i don’t know how
i am begging for the release
for these feelings to leave me
so full of love and grief
i can barely breathe
the isolation of my own choice
has ruined me
and changed me
both built me up
and enraged me
i am so sure it was right
yet i am lost
sometimes
it isn’t even him i miss
i just want to be kissed
i’ve never felt alone like this
i want to feel like i’ve been missed
i don’t miss him
i just miss being loved
and i know it’s for the better
that my strength will grow with time
i’ve spent two months
barely feeling sorry
not a single worry
knowing i made the right choice
but tonight
it hit me all over again
i’ll never hear your voice
this isn’t see you later
it’s goodbye
you taught me so much
you held my hand while i cried
but it still wasn’t right
and i can keep romanticising the good
but it doesn’t take away the pain
of knowing i was never meant to stay
it was nice while it lasted
but it’s time for me to go now
it’s time to say goodbye
i hope someday
i’ll think of you
and realise
i don’t feel the need to cry.
22:34pm - 04/02/25
-
Author:
Chloe Sellers (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: February 12th, 2025 18:30
- Category: Sad
- Views: 9
Offline)
Comments2
A most sorrowful poem but the sorrow of growing up and the loss of childhood and the naive beliefs in fairies, and magic. The knowledge that Santa only exists in each of us. A most heartfelt poem of growth
part of me still wants to believe in those things! thank you for reading
Sorry didn't mean to pop any illusions.
A very touching and heartfelt write, beautifully expressed, Time will heel gradually.
thank you! time does heal.
You are very welcome
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