Strength

Oh, hi Michelle,

It’s been some time since we last spoke,

I see that you loosened the noose on your choke hold,

But I did miss you,

See, I thought that they buried you, see through,

Deep down your scar scratch,

Holding hands with those you know would choke you

 ‘Chelle, please know that I’m glad to see you,

‘Chelle, please know that I fucking need you,

‘Chelle, please know that the whole world needs you

 

Hi there, ‘Chelle,

Please tell me, are you glad to see me?

Or is your lifeline broke,

Dude you know you need me

They guide you, drive you, thrive you,

And analytically they injected,

With which you rejected,

I get it,

Stardom’s not for everyone, but manage expectations,

Fuck the rejections

So you see,

If you wanna be known…

 

Then with them is who you have to sleep…

 

Hi there ‘Chelle,

Take some time for yourself,

To consider what you may throw away

Rejection, it’s so hard to take it

So sometimes you have to play their games

You can sit there,

And struggle with self doubt

Or sleep with a fella, or two,

Get your name signed into the paper,

It’s your choice… Now choose

But know life will test you,

And twist you

Know life will saw you in half

Know life will hand you a noose,

Try to choke,

‘Til you fall on the bathroom floor

But now life has handed you choices

You can choose to stand here and shake,

Or you can choose to flinch,

‘Cause life is a bitch,

Either way, there’s only you to blame

 

‘Chelle, you’re fucking insane,

Choose to choose yourself over your fate,

Sleep with you must,

Disregard such trust,

And blow shit out of their bastard brain

If it’s not with you,

Then it will be somebody else

Someone else will get your chance,

To elevate their status,

You have to take this,

What little more is there to say?

Hold yourself for what you wanted,

Hold yourself for what you need,

Play the game,

It is fun,

Sexualise ‘til your done,

And take the fucking money

 

Take a pill, girl,

‘Cause one day you’ll be ruling the world,

You don’t need them,

You just need you,

 

Shut up! Idiot girl!

 

‘Chelle, you don’t need to test them like that,

 

No, I don’t need to test them like that,

I don’t need to be battered by this self doubt,

But I’m fucking scared, I won’t measure,

 

You don’t need to concern yourself with that,

 

But what if the people hate me?

What if they want me to go?

What if I break down and cry?

 

‘Chelle, don’t…

 

People see me as strong…

People see me as brave…

What do I do if they see past my mask?

Or if they see the real me break…

I can’t hold on,

I am slipping

I feel myself slipping away,

I feel my heart, it’s racing,

And I can’t stop shaking…

 

Woman, shut yourself off from talking,

It’s pathetic, and you are misguided

A woman like you should not know how to feel,

Oh, look now, you’re getting me started

Lay on your back, you’ll feel better,

And dream of the stardom you could touch

Listen to me, and you’ll prosper

Woman, shut yourself up

 

No, ‘Chelle, don’t listen to that fucking psycho,

Hold yourself, and you’ll get through

You’re talented,

And you’re a hero

There’s so much left you have to do…

 

Oh sure,

Here comes step star,

Just open your legs, and you will go far,

You don’t need to “be who you are”

 

You’re wrong,

‘Chelle, please listen to me, as I speak,

This ain’t up for discussion,

You’re not leaving me,

You are fine just as you are

You don’t need an Oscar,

You’re already a star

 

You think she can live without me?

Nah, kid, you are done, you are gone, say goodbye,

To what little chance you had,

Without me…

If you wanna die hard,

Then amputate me,

But kid you will see,

You are nothing if you don’t have me

You think you are thriving,

You’re barely surviving,

And knee deep into life, you are drowning,

Throw yourself out,

Like your leftover dinner,

No-one wants anymore

You think they will save you,

As you fall to the floor

Where’s your Oscar award?

Where’s your Hollywood star?

 

I don’t have one…

 

Exactly

 

Yes, but I don’t do things for that,

I don’t chase fame, drama, or stats

 

‘Chelle, you don’t need to concern yourself with that,

 

Kid, I was constructed by your thoughts, and your failures

I am your failures…

I am the one who should guide you,

I am the one who should override you,

 

Hello, there, Chelle…

Take some time for yourself,

Store your soul on the shelf…

 

I will twist, and contort as I’m drowning,

I will hang my hand in the eye of the rope,

I will smile as the world around me blackens,

And overpower my consciousness with one of my own

My lifeline has tested my kindness,

My lifeline has tested my heart,

My soul is shining within eyes,

As I stand here before you…

Today

Hold me, as my eyes water,

Hold me, as I break down

I won’t listen to my subconscious,

As all it wants is to see me drown

 

Cry at who I am now,

As I’ve settled with my self doubt

There’s no way I’ll retire,

I’ll burn in the fire,

Of my heart that’s shrieking in my lungs

On the day that I may go,

I want you all to know

That I’m devoid of an Oscar,

But that ain’t a stopper,

I will inspire you all to stay strong

I will leave this piece behind,

As I settle on the ocean floor,

Fear is behind me, you won’t stop me,

Stay strong