Disoders' trap

(partly to J.L.)

To be good, to be proud, it’s not a fucking way,

When your mind’s crushing down and you’re needing a help.

Smiling and laughing while being broken

Is a game’s not for two; it’s something unspoken.

Don’t tell me “relax” and “you will be fine”.

Emptiness scorches my soul, and I’m losing this fight.

You’re craven, you’re foolish, and you don’t understand

How to feel in the darkness of disorder's trap.

You again wanna fuck me and have your fun,

But you will be the victim; I recommend you run.

The beasts in my soul are waiting a time.

The beasts in my soul are waiting for a sign.

Just leave me alone side by side with my demons.

Just leave me alone side by side with my fevers.

You’re not strong enough to be next to me,

You’re another mistake of my seventeen.

I thought you’d be always protect me and hide

From the horrors and fears, you’ll help me to fight.

But you’re craven, you’re foolish, and you don’t understand

How to feel in the darkness of disorder's trap.

You’re not a hero; you’re just a starboy.

You were in my past, when I feel I’m alone;

When I felt better and wanted to love.

But now it’s my turn to be rough.

Sometimes who returned from the past to forget,

That people can change. And now I regret

That I was so blind, but now I see clearly -

What is left in the past should stay there endlessly.