Seducing Poison

I don’t want to die.

But saying I want to live would be a lie.

Stuck between those two statements,

Can’t even bring myself to commitment.

I’m just an empty body without a soul:

I let myself get carried away into this hole,

This hole where even the light can’t breaks through,

Realizing too late the zombie it turned you into.

I can’t brace the courage to get up from bed,

Gave up on counting how many times I bled.

This same kind of blood no one notices,

The exact one that doesn’t let you keep your promises.

Starting to think all of this must have a reason.

My whole life, I’ve been bottling up my emotions,

I drank them like a glass of red wine,

Its bewitching color letting its bitterness behind...

But its side effects which were until now in disguise,

Will appear, no matter how much I tried to tell myself lies...

They drained all the amount of inner life I had left,

The speed with which they did it would leave you impressed.

You can’t drink indefinitely though.

In any case not without becoming a shadow.

The shadow of yourself, of all you had back then,

Leaving you wondering if you would do it again.