gym guy

There's hands on my back
Fingers tracing my shoulder blades
Every crevice, crater and bump
My heart beating in my chest

I turn around the face them
Eyes shut tight and dreaming
A smile traces my lips as
if there were two more looking back at me

A blurred line, both there and not
The first sign of madness, so they say
All I ever do is imagine,
thought after thought,
you're all bark and no bite

Pictures we've taken
but their frames were always empty
your black t-shirt and my
baggy blue jeans
Never having felt the touch I feel then

I'm blurring the lines
Was anything ever really there?
It's a nightmare so I pinch myself
but the brain never sleeps so what is there to wake up from

The pillow's hugs are just as brutal and cold
as the truth, I don't know how I take it

A black shawl, a veil over my face
mourning the loss of things I never even had
I'll rest in peace, alone in my grave
just as dead as the lilies you lay there

I know I'm going crazy
but please, you could save me.
Let me have that sparkling smile,
dig me up 
revive me
and I promise I'll be good.
I could even be better.

It could have been better,
We almost had it.
I almost saw in colour
But a blind girl can't see what she's missing.