writers block (getting over it)

you know

I thought I couldn't write

anymore

too long staring at the sun, so bright

blinding

like your beauty

laughing

when you asked why I was so moody

Its cute

how no one else reads my eyes

no one but you

scars, so much

crisscrossing, or star crossed

yet with one touch

from you, they erased, all gone, lost

I was scared

when you were gone

nothing else compared

withdrawn

I couldn't play piano

couldn't speak

couldn't sleep, too many shadows

of you, everywhere, even when I close my eyes

that you said you loved

but most importantly, I couldn't write

I always write

that's when I realized

you weren't just everything

you were mine

you inspired

with just a smile

it was rude

the way you said you liked my attitude

I thought I could box it all away

from the way you said my name

to the burning pain

to the way I still miss you

miss hanging out in my room

whispering things in the dark

unheard, yet present, marked

"love me"

you said,

"like you love escaping inside a books fantasy

like you love feeling the rain on your petals

because you're my flower

my chrysanthemum"

I believed

now I cry 

why was I so stupid?

why do I still crave your love

when its not love, when it'll just break me

again, like always, a shattered heart

now I know why I can't make art

I know why I cant play piano

cant sleep,

or speak

but most importantly

I know why I couldn't write

not because I lost my touch

but because you blinded my sight

because it was all too much

when we were no longer us

but just you and I

and I still remember your watery eyes

when you lied