Its complicated

I dont love you

I just notice things

Like what changes your mood

And how your eyes change with spring

How you only smile with certain people around

And most of the times you dont talk, just stare at the ground

Sometimes I wish you'd just look up

And give me that smile I love

The one where the corners of your mouth twitch up

And you look down, your hair covering some of your face

Your cheeks turning a faint rosy pink like the sunset

And I see your pulse beat, your heart start to race

Thats the smile I love

And your voice, like a low bass strum

Its calming, I'm not sure how to describe why

Its like listening to the light rain on my roof drum

While looking out into the starry night

I could hear you talk for hours and not get bored

You can rant about the most random things and I'd ask for more

I also notice how you seem so serious

But its just to cover up how you're actually sensitive

How you like to stay rude and mysterious

But its just your way of being you

And I like it

Like how we banter back and forth

How you like to show off and teach what you know

But I'm not in love with you, its just... complicated

Because you're probably not in love with me

But I still like making you smile, like seeing that faint rosy tint

Like teasing you, and pretending like I don't care you exist

But I do, or at least a part of me does

And now that I've moved away, I especially do, especially right now

You're all I can think about

Maybe I should have said something, maybe clear the clouds of doubt

But instead I dreamed and played my piano

Closing my eyes and seeing yours staring back, glowing with that fire

That I like to poke and ignite

And I know you're a liar

Your mom told me how you'd sit at the table and cry while doing your homework at night

And I've seen glimpses of the real you

When you're not being a complete dick

But I think, a part of me likes it

Because you're not easy, just complex

And I don't think us meeting was fated

I just miss our little interactions

But I don't love you...

Its just complicated