MY NOW LIFE

There was a knock--soft but sure,

And guess who stood by the door?

Depression, dressed in silence and shade,

returning just when joy had strayed.

No friends to run to, no arms to hold

No warmth, no joy, just bitter cold

Laughter fades, colors drain,

each breath a whisper covered in pain.

The sleep, yet awake and drained inside

they smile, but joy has long since died

surrounded yet so deeply alone,

a crowded room, yet still unknown.

Now pause

who bears this heavy soul?

whose spirit aches no longer whole?

Surprise

it's me the girl you see

TMGD trying to be.

I wear a smile like a fragile mask

Each day a chore, each breath a task

I cry at night then wipe it clean

telling myself don't make a scene.

But it cut deeper than I say

and I fear it is here to stay

I want to leave, to disappear

but guilt and fear pull me forever near.

I want to scream and break apart

but they'd just watch and it'd just hurt

So I smile, yes , I smile each day

though my spirit is slipping away.

And this my friend is my now life'

a quiet war, a silent cry

But I still breath and I still try

wishing someday for a real smile.

TMGD