carried like playlists

 i left my familys street,

where we knew every crack and turn.

the porch light still glows,

and i can almost hear them laugh and yearn.

used to be noise,

laughter, yelling, doors mid-slam,

chaos in the kitchen,

someone always stealing chocolates.

i miss birthdays with bad cake,

candles half-lit, off-key tunes.

now its me, a screen, a forced smile,

and a “wish you were here.”

family dinners became

“mute your mic and unmute it again, I can’t hear.”

and instead of hugs,

its “your screens frozen, dear.”

i used to bug my siblings on sight,

steal snacks, flip channels, pick fights.

now I just scroll their stories,

double-tap and hope they are all right.

jokes hit different over facetime.

timings off. punchlines miss.

i laugh anyway, cause its them.

and thats something i still dont wanna miss.

sometimes i ache for chaos,

for loud. for messy. for real.

now im living on the edge

of homesick and surreal.

but im doing it. im growing.

even when the silence gets loud.

carrying my people like playlists,

headphones in, lost in the chaos.

                                    -Angelica Dsouza