Jogging Pete

Kevin Hulme


Notice of absence from Kevin Hulme
There will now be a short Intermission.
Our Sales Staff will be in all parts of my Webpage selling: Choc- Ices , Soft drinks and Pop Corn.

Peter Doyle  is a Jogging freak,

He can be seen 'Near Death' around Town twice a week;

For the straining of Lungs is the Healthiest thing;

To ensure you'll receive, a Card from the King.

He wears the best gear, the tightness of Shorts;

Leaves nothing to the Imagination by all Current Reports. 

As that poor Maiden Aunt, the Retiring Miss Malt,

Who then had to be Revived, with much Smelling of Salt.

He Sweats a Monsoon through the Hours of the day;

For the Sensitive of Nose keep well out the way.

The most expensive of Shoes he wears for the Track;

Though his Wife walks around with Old Rags on her back.

A fancy new Watch that tells much of his Pace;

But the 'Tale of the Tape' is writ large on his face.

He's cut off by the Music through the Buds in his Ears;

So Oblivious to the Cyclists and their Murderous jeers.

Now he pushes to hard for his fitness to peak; 

Until he resembles an Ad for the Old and the Weak.

Then after his excursions he arrives at his home;

And a 'Call' to old 'Ralph' on the Porcelain Phone.

So if your out walking, keep a lookout for Pete;

He's the one breathing Hard;

Like a Grizzly 'On Heat'.

 

  • Author: Kevin Hulme (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 6th, 2025 19:41
  • Comment from author about the poem: FYI: In the U.K. when you reach 100 years old: You get a Card from the Monarch. Some of the Jokes I tell have quite a few.
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 11
  • Users favorite of this poem: sorenbarrett
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Comments +

Comments3

  • Doggerel Dave

    Well you could try getting those old dogs clipped🙃.... thoroughly enjoyed.

    • Kevin Hulme

      Glad you liked it.
      Also do you now have a Aussie accent with living there long; or still some old Blighty? Just wondered.

      • Doggerel Dave

        Depens where I am: in Oz I have a Pommy accent - when touring in your place I have an Aussie accent
        with no effort on my part in either direction. I also miss both places when I'm in the other.
        OK - enough of this deep sociopsychological (got that one from me thesaurus!) analysis. Lets have more of them shaggy dog stories...............

        • Kevin Hulme

          I enjoy doing Light Verse; but find it hard to get a good subject. Also why is there not another word for Thesaurus?

        • sorenbarrett

          A fun read the is too close to the truth for many that I see. I think the image that I got with the last line was a Grizzly in heat. Loved it

          • Kevin Hulme

            Yes I know . On my walks I see some that are Okay; Others look like Tutankhamen without the Mask. Thank for reading🏃

          • Thomas W Case

            Lol. Superb.



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