My Mother

I figured if I got the " good grades" ,

The ones that you wanted,

You would finally love me , mom ,

But I was wrong, and it hurt alot to be honest.

Mother, am I that unlovable ?

Is there something wrong with me?

It feels like to impress you is just impossible,

You say that you love me, but do you, really?

Mother, you had me but I never had you,

I was a child,

Yet , even now , I still don't know what it's like to feel loved,

Please, mom , please, I tried,

Is what you do really just?

You made me want to kill myself,

And trust me, I tried to,

Couldn't you tell that I really needed help?

I couldn't even tell it to you.

When this happened, I was thirteen,

Just thirteen,

All you did then and all you do now is yell and scream.

It's fine, mom ,

My bed can hug me instead,

My pillow doesn't mind wiping my tears,

I'll be fine, mom , 

I just wish I knew what it's like to have a mother who loves you in a way you feel loved.