Dissociation

Trying to understand where I am

im lost in myself 

where’s my centre 

sometimes it feels like 

I lose the connection to me 

or have lost 

and then it feels like 

there are pieces of rain 

sighs of

but where am I 

I’m meant to be here 

feel here 

but I’m disconnecting 

then I sigh again 

why 

Because it hurts to not feel like me 

to not sense me 

to feel like I’m over there 

to look in the mirror 

and feel confusion 

and more sighs 

because there it is again 

I’m seeing a stranger in the mirror 

Can I not return 

because sometimes it feels like I’ve vanished 

yes 

I write and that’s me 

but i can’t always even feel like me when I’m writing 

I want to sense me and I don’t know 

don’t know where I am 

…

then I’m standing here 

In a certain place 

but it feels like a house 

it feels like I’m in a house 

but something inside me is telling me 

it doesn’t always feel like ‘ home 

and then I’m sighing again 

maybe my feelings are making me dissociate ..