trapped

I feel like a ghost in my own life
everyone talks, laughs, lives
i just watch
quiet
Like they don’t even see I’m there

Maybe they don’t
Maybe they’re not supposed to
Maybe this is just what I get

I don’t know what I did
But it must’ve been bad
because being alone
Feels like punishment

I try to smile sometimes
So they don’t ask
But it feels fake
Like my face forgot how to be happy

I think about leaving
not like running away
but like
leaving-leaving
And it scares me
But it also feels peaceful
And that scares me more

People say, "It gets better."
But what if it doesn’t for me?
What if I’m the problem?

What if this is who I am
And no one’s ever gonna care enough
to pull me out?

I want to scream
But I don’t think anyone would hear me
or worse
they would
and still walk away