I Thought I`d Prepared.

Poetic Licence

I Thought I Had Prepared for the End.

 

My wife had been seriously ill for too many years.

For her passing I thought I had properly prepared.

We knew it would come but we didn't know when.

We tried hard to live a normal life right to the end.

 

I knew when the final day came how it would hurt.

The pain, tears for a while it would just get worse.

I was sure over time it would gradually get better.

I thought it won’t hurt too much to remember her.

 

I kept telling myself that the pain would fade away.

Normality would return to me bit by bit day by day.

Would be left just with good memories surviving.

I could forget all the years I watched her suffering.

 

The night before our nightmares came to fruition.

We cuddled on the settee in front of the television.

A voice told us both, now it’s time to say goodbye.

The end was coming that we could no longer deny.

 

I remember clearly, seeing some relief in her eyes.

I might have imagined it, but I am sure she smiled.

I tried hard to hide the tears I uncontrollably cried.

I said to her in my heart my love will always survive.

 

I carried my soulmate carefully up the windy stairs.

Tucked her tight into bed for a while i just sat there.

I held her hand as she gradually drifted off to sleep.

For her the pain was going to be replaced by peace.

 

In the morning, I drew the curtains, the sun shone in.

I held her hand, but now she was no longer breathing.

I laid down carefully by her side and held her so tight.

I said to my soul mate, a loving and peaceful goodbye.

 

I thought all my preparation would slowly now kick in.

So, the pains and feelings I would still be controlling.

It would be very difficult, I know I had planned for that.

For me to live normally shouldn't be too problematic.

 

All that planning was a complete waste of valued time.

I had lost control and had total confusion in my mind.

The feeling of loss was way more than I ever imagined.

Every day of that hurt I sadly longed for my best friend.

 

Felt like my limbs were removed, couldn't cope with life.

Ripped my life and soul apart with the death of my wife.

It is still so raw and extremally painful after many years.

Normality returning soon appears to be not getting near.

 

Maybe I thought too much and should have just let it be.

Allow all my emotions and feelings just flow out naturally.

The saving grace that I always have is when i try to sleep.

Is my wife is no longer in pain and she is resting in peace

 

Tobani.

  • Author: Tobani / Nataiella (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: July 17th, 2025 02:29
  • Comment from author about the poem: I wrote this about someone i knew, watching him trying to cope with the illness of his wife and prepare for when she was gone, and then watch him fall to pieces when it happened. I have written it as him speaking.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 4
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Comments +

Comments3

  • Demar Desu

    this is a reality I myself will have to live with, or my wife will for me…

    “For her the pain was going to be replaced by peace.”

    I hope your friend replaces his pain with peace

  • Demar Desu

    Great poem

  • sorenbarrett

    Very few couples go together so it is something that most will have to go through. A separation that no matter how much preparation one can be ready for. Nicely written Tobani



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