Now is the time.
I Thought I Had Prepared for the End.
My wife had been seriously ill for too many years.
For her passing I thought I had properly prepared.
We knew it would come but we didn't know when.
We tried hard to live a normal life right to the end.
I knew when the final day came how it would hurt.
The pain, tears for a while it would just get worse.
I was sure over time it would gradually get better.
I thought it won’t hurt too much to remember her.
I kept telling myself that the pain would fade away.
Normality would return to me bit by bit day by day.
Would be left just with good memories surviving.
I could forget all the years I watched her suffering.
The night before our nightmares came to fruition.
We cuddled on the settee in front of the television.
A voice told us both, now it’s time to say goodbye.
The end was coming that we could no longer deny.
I remember clearly, seeing some relief in her eyes.
I might have imagined it, but I am sure she smiled.
I tried hard to hide the tears I uncontrollably cried.
I said to her in my heart my love will always survive.
I carried my soulmate carefully up the windy stairs.
Tucked her tight into bed for a while i just sat there.
I held her hand as she gradually drifted off to sleep.
For her the pain was going to be replaced by peace.
In the morning, I drew the curtains, the sun shone in.
I held her hand, but now she was no longer breathing.
I laid down carefully by her side and held her so tight.
I said to my soul mate, a loving and peaceful goodbye.
I thought all my preparation would slowly now kick in.
So, the pains and feelings I would still be controlling.
It would be very difficult, I know I had planned for that.
For me to live normally shouldn't be too problematic.
All that planning was a complete waste of valued time.
I had lost control and had total confusion in my mind.
The feeling of loss was way more than I ever imagined.
Every day of that hurt I sadly longed for my best friend.
Felt like my limbs were removed, couldn't cope with life.
Ripped my life and soul apart with the death of my wife.
It is still so raw and extremally painful after many years.
Normality returning soon appears to be not getting near.
Maybe I thought too much and should have just let it be.
Allow all my emotions and feelings just flow out naturally.
The saving grace that I always have is when i try to sleep.
Is my wife is no longer in pain and she is resting in peace
Tobani.
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Author:
Tobani / Nataiella (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: July 17th, 2025 02:29
- Comment from author about the poem: I wrote this about someone i knew, watching him trying to cope with the illness of his wife and prepare for when she was gone, and then watch him fall to pieces when it happened. I have written it as him speaking.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 71
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange, Poetic Licence, Priya Tomar, Friendship, Cheeky Missy, GenXer Shamrocker ☘️, Damaso
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Comments13
this is a reality I myself will have to live with, or my wife will for me…
“For her the pain was going to be replaced by peace.”
I hope your friend replaces his pain with peace
Great poem
Thank you for your kind words and feedback, very much appreciated
Very few couples go together so it is something that most will have to go through. A separation that no matter how much preparation one can be ready for. Nicely written Tobani
Thank you, enjoy your day
My pleasure and have a wonderful day yourself
Tobani, this is one of the most honest pieces I’ve read from you, and that is saying a lot because they're all honest. The way you wrote this through his eyes...I could feel the collapse. You have a very empathetic soul, my dear friend. The love, the planning, the unraveling...it’s all here without drama, just truth. You honored his grief with such care. 🌹👏
Thank you for your kind feedback, enjoy the rest of your day
Well written poetry
Last lines touched my heart....
Thank you for your kind feedback, enjoy the rest of your day
You are very welcome
What a powerful poem! I don't think we're ever prepared for a loved one to die. I know I wasn't after 43 years. May you find peace and happiness along the way. My heart goes out to you, may you heal.
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You have captured that so well. I have been riding shotgun at many a time such as this and attest to its relatability and resonance.
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Most welcome 🕊️🙏🏻
I was relieved when Daddy joined Mom because he never ever stopped missing her. For myself, I knew I would never forgive losing them. What I feared was gradually losing the sense of them and moving on. Why, oh why do your fears seem to triumph?! Otherwise, I'm still half dead, only a shell of who I was before my mother passed away. Gorgeously rendered with exquisite poignancy and excellent imagery. Thank you so very much for sharing. I..
Thank you for your feedback, sad to hear your sadness hope it eases over time, enjoy the rest of your day
Well, I can't help but vibrate with great emotion reading the lines of this text, the conflicting feelings. Too much reasoning and idealization about such intense pain. The mind can border on madness every day. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing. Best regards.
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Superb
Thank you, have a great weekend
This actually happened to me Tobani, my wife of nearly forty years had dementia and I watched her get worse over the years, she ended in a care home and then in hospital, I was with her when she passed her last breath and the way I looked at it was that it was a release for both of us. It was hard to come home to an empty home but I went through the various stages of grief, shock and denial; pain and guilt; anger and bargaining; depression, reflection, and loneliness; the upward turn; reconstruction; and acceptance and hope.
I now say to people that think they know about dementia if you haven't lived 24/7 with somebody who has dementia you haven't a f*****g clue.
I wrote many poems about this.
Andy
I am sorry to hear you have suffered going through this as well, i haven`t and wrote this after watching my friend go through it, so i cannot say i know how it really feels, i can only write through what i saw and what we talked about. Hope you have a lovely weekend
I hope your friend is coping well and I wish her peace. This is a great piece of work!!
Thank you for your kind feedback, have a wonderful weekend
the raw emotions exposed here along with the undying love is beautifully represented..
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thanks i did, and its a pleasant rainy morning now..serene and calm
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