The day after I relapsed,
I went quietly about life.
I showered in cold water
And I ate a bagel with cream cheese
For breakfast.
The day after I relapsed,
I held back tears as the water
Ran down my legs and stung
My cuts, and I covered my face
When Momma bandaged them.
The day after I relapsed,
I skipped lunch.
I skipped my evening shower.
I skipped talking.
I skipped writing.
The day after I relapsed,
I wanted to die.
I thought about finding
The key to the med box and
Taking all the pills I could grab.
The day after I relapsed,
I downed an entire bottle of
Sparkling cider, and I
Went to watch my brother’s
Baseball game. He lost.
The day after I relapsed,
I told myself it wasn’t that bad,
They weren’t as deep as last time. (I lied)
I ran my hands over my skin
To feel what I’d done to myself.
The day after I relapsed,
I stood in front of the mirror
With my pants off.
I listened to the harshness
Of the silence and thoughts.
The day after I relapsed,
I didn’t look anyone in the eye
And I walked slowly because
The bandages chafe if you
Carry too much weight.
The day after I relapsed,
I woke up and stared at the
Ceiling, at the clock,
Anything to keep from looking
At the blood on my hands.
The day after I relapsed,
I woke up and I
Breathed.
It was over.
That had to be it.
(It wasn’t)
-
Author:
Malo J (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: July 17th, 2025 16:24
- Comment from author about the poem: I finished writing my manuscript, Grief Made a Mirror, and this is one of the 61 poems that complete the collection.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 11
- Users favorite of this poem: Priya Tomar
Offline)
Comments4
Rough and raw this write is a reviewal of the horrors of the past and a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel and a bit of hope. Nicely written
A honest and raw write of the difficult times having endured and now has a little chink of hope, they might make it, nicely expressed and written
A powerful poem full of raw emotions, I could taste the blood on my hands. It was a rush of unending regret. Sentimentally well written!
Displaying of tragic time...
Very nice
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