Are you still there?
Yes.
Just older now. Quieter.
But I still remember how you prayed
with eyes closed tight
and hands that shook with hope.
You used to believe so fiercely.
I did.
Because they told me love had rules,
and heaven watched,
and goodness would be rewarded
if I stayed small enough to fit.
And now? What changed?
Life.
Grief.
Truth that didn’t need hymns to feel holy.
I watched my father—gentle, steady—
fade away
while no divine mercy came.
Did it hurt, letting go?
Yes.
It felt like breaking up with someone
I loved but no longer trusted.
It felt like standing alone
without the safety net of certainty.
Do you miss it?
Sometimes.
The ritual. The rhythm.
But not the fear.
Not the way I was made to feel
like I was never quite enough.
So what do you believe now?
That kindness matters.
That wonder exists without needing
a creator behind it.
That meaning is something
we build with our own hands.
And are you at peace?
I’m learning to be.
Not the kind they promised—
not eternal rest or streets of gold—
but a quiet, grounded truth
that this life is enough.
That I am enough.
Even without believing?
Especially without believing.
-
Author:
Jane Walker (
Offline) - Published: July 30th, 2025 07:06
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem is a continuation of my last one. It's a new style for me. I found it challenging but I'm glad I tried. Not sure I'll do it again but never say never
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 13
Offline)
Comments3
Excellent write
A poem of remembering and what was blind faith now becomes belief. Very nicely done
A reflective look back and understanding how they have changed over time, now having a bit more belief than they did in the past, nicely expressed and written
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