I wish I was into you

I wish I was into you
The way you're into me
You're everything I should want
But I like the tragedy
You're kind, you're real, you're always there
But I chase what ruins me
You're too good, too soft, too true
For a girl like me

You buy my tea, won’t let me pay
Check on me ten times a day
You’re what I need but never choose
I only run towards things I lose

You’re the only man who never looked at me with lust
Only brought me flowers, chocolates, and trust

You loved me right but I wasn't there
Too busy loving those who wouldn't dare

I know it’s messed up, I know it’s sad
But I crave the hurt, I chase the bad
You're steady light, I’m storm and flame
You play it safe, I play a game

I like the ones who make me cry
Who leave without saying goodbye

I don’t know why, but I’m drawn to pain
Boys who lie, boys who play games
The ones who shout, who walk away
They make me feel something in a twisted way

If I was into you, I’d be okay
Wouldn’t cry in church or lose my way
I’m sorry that I can’t pretend
You deserve more than a dead end
You're the kind that heals and stays
While I fall for the one who walks away

You don’t understand hearts like mine
I can't be the girl you keep in line
I’m a thunderstorm, you’ll just get burnt
You’re an angel and I’m the ghost who’s hurt

Loving me will only end up breaking you
I don’t want your heart to hurt like mine used to
You deserve someone who feels the same
Not a girl who runs from gentle names

Maybe in another life
Where pain didn’t feel like home
I’d fall for someone good like you
And learn to love the known