Get Buzzed

Scraps, I hope this email finds you well

Well? Well! I’m sitting in corporate hell 

Dealing with corporate bullshit and niceties 

All while having to deal with my anxiety 

We are excited to announce the start 

Of our new initiative “from the heart”

Oh this should be good, really great

Another forced activity which forces us to relate

When in reality we come from a myriad of places

They only want to see those with happy smiling faces

You see Scraps our employees should endeavor

To Push the Envelope and collaborate wherever

Share their stories and promote better synergy 

Touch base and not be afraid to donate their energy

To a project that doesn’t directly count as their deliverables

A paradigm shift like this, could be considerable

This is hilarious, beyond comprehension

Blatantly stating I could be doing more, not to mention

There are more middle managers who’s only fucking purpose 

Is to make sure the job is managed, what a fucking circus

More people doing, less people observing

Watch productivity skyrocket, won’t that be unnerving

To leverage this sense of broken silo collaboration

We have planned an employee celebration 

We simply ask in order to prepare and get on board

You visit our website becomingthecorporatehoard 

You will find there a spot we made just for you

Simply fill out Core Competencies and hobbies too!

Share a bit about your background, but please keep it lite

We take trigger warnings seriously and we always reserve the right

To take down anything, we don’t think is workplace appropriate 

So keep your therapy in therapy, don’t share with associates!  

Best wishes,

Corporate Overlord

That makes sense totally agree

How could they possibly want to know the real me 

They only want to know what parts they can best use

Before I implode, crack, or otherwise blow a fuse

Well I am done, I can’t take anymore

When they tell me seeing my true self is too much of a chore

I have to escape, to where I don’t know

Maybe to Italy, france work on a fine bordeaux 

Or maybe I’ll sit here for just a little while yet

And see how long it takes them to see I quietly quit