Anti Fairytale

They said love gives you butterflies in stomach
I had caffeinated elephants doing parkour.
They said you either fall or rise in love,
I slipped on a banana peel and faceplanted.
They said love sweeps you off your feet,
I got entangled in emotional quicksand.
They said love is blind.
Mine wore thick rimmed glasses.
They said love is a flame,
Mine was a raging wildfire.
They said love is forever.
Mine came with a countdown timer.
They said love conquers all.
Mine surrendered after one awkward dinner.

My love story wasn't a fairy tale; it was Aesop's fable.