So contradictory
Unpredictable
My own jurisdiction
So judge, what's the verdict?
Insane maybe
Causing mayhem
Gone astray
Running like it's doomsday.
A disappointment
Life was pointless
There's no ointment
Am I just poisonous?
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Author:
NinjaGirl (
Offline)
- Published: September 15th, 2025 21:44
- Comment from author about the poem: Trying some assonance. One of my favorite elements in music.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 71
- Users favorite of this poem: sorenbarrett, Demar Desu, Tristan Robert Lange
Comments7
Creative, I love experimentation and this one is well done with meaning behind the poem. For being multileveled a fave
Thank you!
You are always welcome
There's always an ointment, and for a few dollars I can put you in touch with a man who will put you in touch with another man, and before you know it, you'll be unpoisonous.
Try as I might, I'm unable to get my head around assonance - can't teach an old dog.... I will have to stick with rhyme, I think. But what of the message? Feels a wee bit nihilistic to me....
We all feel nihilistic sometimes... Assonance is similar to internal rhyming, but the words have the same sounds in them. The "di" sound in the first verse, the "ay" sound in the second, and the "oi" sound in the third.
'Got you............ I think.......!!
Ha, ha, no worries, you'll get it
There is no ointment- a gem. Psst...what about- running like it's doomsday? Surely another gem of a line. Now the question is- is it perfection of assonance? Or assonance in perfection? Not sure. But surely I am sure of having liked it very much.
Hahahah, thank you so much for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Love assonance! A strong and haunting piece, 🥷. The cadence carries the chaos well…every line tight, jagged, and real. Beautifully done, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you!
We judge ourselves differently right?
Yes, it's very true!
life is what you allow it to be - so do not let the poison scar you
good verse - but looking for more positivity..
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