the guilt of the past is a burden but also a journey to self-discovery

I've got trouble with the past

Nowadays I have lost the passion

To make my 7-year-old self proud

His eyes widened with dreams

Now crumbled on his shoulders

I have forgotten myself

Haven't figured how to be oneself

Is that what society wanted me to be

Or is that what I want to be?

Discovery is a dreadful recovery

Everyday is a spinning plate

Against the dash of the future and past

Thrown into a hurricane

Of an endless chamber of thoughts

Feelings of burdening what was once alive

Now the leaves has flown to the ground

Rivers solid with gas and dead birds

Time has gone against me

Each night is a reminder where I've been

What place I've missed out on

Each second a heavy burden; a ticking clock

Stretching the frown of my struggles

Never succeeding, always succumbing

To the misery of what I've not done

Longing to separate this body

To let myself free from moving

No other way but to keep going

Despite nothing and everything