A Scientific Riddle, or Why the Aborigines Ate Cook by Vladimir Visotski

Do not  cling to others'  pleasant waists,

Having escaped from the arms of girlfriends!

Remember how the late captain Cook

 Sailed to the Australia, miles overtook.

How, sitting in a circle under the azaleas,

Without sparing jaws the evil wild men

From sunrise to dawn In sunny  Australia

Ate each other  in season and out of seasons 

But,why had the Aborigines eaten poor

Cook?  Why? It is  unclear; science is silent.

I imagine it is  quite simple ample sure:

They were hungry—and they ate the captain.

There's a theory that their chief , a big bugaboo,

Said the cook on Cook's ship was very tasty...

It was a mistake—that's what science is silent about:

They wanted cook, but ate Cook instead.

And there was no trick or trick at all—violently:

They entered without knocking, almost silently,

Used skillfully a hard heavy  bamboo club:

Thud! Right on the top of the Cook’s head.

But there is also another theory subject,

That’s they ate Cook out of great respect:

That a  pow-wow incited spiteful man them all:

"Come on, boys, grab thick Cook on forks!

Whoever gobbles him up without salt or onions,

Will be strong, brave,  kind—like Cook, obviousely!"

Someone coped  their hands on a big rock,

Throwed it, being the viper, and ruined Cook.

And now the savages are wringing their hands,

Breaking their spears, breaking their bows, hence,

Burning and throwing away their bamboo clubs—

They live through that Cook was eaten! Thugs!

o