It feels forever since love shared;
It feels forever since you cared.
It is so dark in this abode;
Wake left in the lie that you cared.
Our bed is ice—so very cold—
A witness that never you cared.
Heaven told—the truth is so harsh—
That’s why I’m here, as if you cared.
You are so cold within my arms;
Rigor mortis says that you cared.
Locked in lover’s necrotic fate,
I gave you arsenic—you cared.
Your pale, blackening face—dead weight—
I wish I could forget you cared.
Your ghastly ghost glares with green glow,
Your moan chills my soul—yes!—you cared!
© 2025 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved
First published on tristanrobertlange.com, October 9, 2025.
Tittu
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Author:
Tristan Robert Lange (
Offline) - Published: October 9th, 2025 07:50
- Comment from author about the poem: Originally written for the Ghost Story Challenge (Halloween Edition) , hosted by the Beyond Lines publication on Medium.com. Written in the traditional ghazal form.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 38
- Users favorite of this poem: Friendship, sorenbarrett, Salvia.S, Poetic Licence
Offline)
Comments10
Well written, your poem explores the themes of lost love, betrayal, and the haunting nature of memory. It depicts a relationship that has soured, leaving the speaker in a state of despair and emotional coldness, even after death.
Friendship, that means a lot. It’s strange how even betrayal leaves behind devotion’s echo. Ghosts aren’t just spirits…they’re feelings we can’t bury. 💀🕯️🥀👁️ Aways appreciate your time and insights, my friend!
Tristan this could be called a murder love ballad it has a gothic flavor but at the same time could be taken as totally metaphoric and speaking of the death of the relationship not the person per say . The rigor mortis being nothing more that the stiffness of touch in a cold relationship. the pale and blackening face nothing more that change of emotions on the face of one that is dreading the view of the other or black anger at their continued presence. A relationship where one once cared but no more. Either way it is a descriptive poem of death either of the person or relationship or both. Ghostly indeed. Very nicely written
Soren, you nailed the dual reading…the murder ballad and the metaphor. Whether the body or the bond, decay tells the same truth: nothing haunts like what once cared. 💀🕯️🥀👁️ Thanks again; my friend!
Most welcome Tristan
Ohh, she's only swooned really - she read a hot poem! heehee.
LOL! I told Popeye to leave her alone! Poor Olive Oyl!
LOL.
i love that the order of reflection/ realization seems to be the reverse of how it happened chronologically. really cool!
Thank you so very much, my friend! Much appreciated! 💀🕯️🥀👁️
Tristan -when I first looked, I misread ‘ghazal form’ as ‘ghastly form’ 😅(You said it first!)
Do you need me to acknowledge the amount of sweat, energy and time you put into that, me old mate?
I thought it read antelope @ first .. but then my left eye has never been write .. no, not neva 😎👍
Dave, haha, ghastly form might be the truest description yet! Took took the ghazal's typical love themes in a more macabre direction...but that’s the fun of a proper haunting, eh me old mate? 💀🕯️🥀👁️ Thanks for the read and thoughts, my friend!
Neville to you, Tristan - Crossed wires methinks
I was contemplating trying to poem something witty about form .. but then realised you know far more about that than yours truly .. and so instead I'll just nod my head and write Spooky or wot .. 🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🖤😎now if that aint a murder, I'll be flocked .. 👍👍
LOL, Neville...yep, a murder it be! Couldn’t resist a dash of Poe and a wink to the macabre. Just your friendly neighborhood romantic necromancer at work. 💀🕯️🥀👁️
Superb work.
That is one hell of a way to describe a relationship that died a slow painful death. The coldness and despair that descended on the emotions until everything fell apart. even after experiencing that kind of emotional torment some will still carry the torch of love to their grave and beyond. Right i have finished waffling, great write, enjoyed the read
This piece is chilling and unforgettable and its refrain of “you cared” works like a haunting echo, turning tenderness into something macabre. The imagery of coldness, rigor, and ghostly return makes the poem feel like a gothic ballad of love and possession. It’s unsettling, but in the best way possible, the kind of poem that lingers long after reading.
a macabre and chilling tale told so well one understands the betrayal, the haunting despair and the inevitable frustration and longing very well..
touching and sends a chill up one's spine
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