Old Friend

Depression comes in like an old friend
Has a seat at your table
Rifles through the mail on the counter
Any silly notes you left yourself as reminders
Takes a cup from the cupboard
Feet on the table
Helping themselves to all that is yours

A dark cloud in the room
And you just thought a light bulb blew
Slowly creeping into every corner of your mind
Sometimes, it's a gradual darkness
Like one of those slow fade dimmers
Others, it's like a storm came and knocked out all the power
Instantly, in a moment, when you least expected it

Does the clock know when our sadness will strike
Or is it just as surprised as us
Caught off guard by the onslaught of loops we find ourselves in
Ticking backwards to where the story begins

Does it come in as a weighted blanket
Covering all we know and see with it's heavy darkness
And then soothing us to sleep when the tears won't stop flowing
Trying to change the narrative in our mind but it can't stop the knowing

Everyday is a battle when this old friend comes to town
Silently hoping we'll finally drown
in it's madness
Hovering, peering over your shoulder 
Like some old washed up clown
Deep in your sorrows and sadness

After ransacking your home
Picking through all that you know
It leaves, unexpected as it came in
Catching you feeling hesitant to smile too hard
Or appreciate the moment to breathe

And in those moments
Those deep breaths of relief
It's scent still lingers
In the back of your mind
In the back of your throat
On the tip of your tongue
Reminding you
It's never over
And it will own you for all of your life.

~I.S.~