Cannot Escape Oneself

No calmness of mind or inner calm

I'm astounded by what I grasped

One more pull but it's not enough

I cannot escape oneself

A fevered mind just in time -

I was beginning to loosen up

Another pill too close the deal

I cannot escape oneself

I ponder better thoughts but it's not what I sought

I'm no stranger to this

I meander to where I want to stay

I cannot escape oneself

My world is but a shadow at play of vast intrusions

I don't know if it's palable, what I see

I'm playing with fire as the pattern renews

I cannot escape oneself

This is my reality left questioning my vitality

Somewhere I don't want to be

I know it's suboptimal -

I need to get myself back on track

I cannot escape oneself