No Name #2

I need to get this one out

whether in poetry or prose

or not, I don't know

whether it be rhymed or not

it drives me crazy

to ever think at all

puzzled in a long forgotten maze

longing for a connection

that won't leave me in a daze

crawling for the closeness of humanity

that has long been lost with time

it's out there somewhere

it's out there somewhere

outer space closing behind my eyes

I am no longer in their space

a lost and found priority

dropped elsewhere in a desert

no one loves me anymore

the universe has forgotten my name

rewriting, erasing my DNA

murdering my soul into dusts

slashing my dignity into the ground

I am not important

a rolling stone in the sands

out of place, left alone

everything I do gets thrown out

mindless littering half of my soul

never receiving a response

a reciprocity rendered impossible

what did I ever do wrong?

what did I ever do wrong?

should've left me on the streets

starved and died by a collision

of cars and the hard concrete

what a burden, a lazy meteor

in a beautiful garden

I go up to the city night

wondering if I'm ever alive at all

just a moment, a brief glimpse

where I surrender to the stars

in the skies, reflecting my death

there is no happy ending for me here

just a rambling, of useless words

to entertain my soulless soul

what is there to do but enjoy?

the Beats would've enjoyed this poem

at least, I think.

I am scared of the fears I've collected

within me, staring back at me

to join my shoulders and control me

each do its part, each manipulating

my nerves and visions to suit themselves

am I longer the same person

as I used to be?

have I become worse?

I thought, as I stare

into the nothingness of the galaxy

deteriorating without realizing

is the worst mistake anyone can experience

living is never a question mark

it is the answer.

I say these things like a hypocrite

knowing I'll never enjoy life as other people do

the past has killed every part

now I am a ghost

searching for anything

I am nothing.

wishing I had lived,

wishing for a second chance,

wishing, wishing, wishing,

God, God, God

It's all wrong, it's all wrong

my whole being is an error

it's all wrong, it's all wrong

I want to live.