guilt

if guilt were something smaller
something i could swallow 
cut into small chunks
and devour 
perhaps it would not matter but 

guilt is larger than i thought 
i am left
chewing and chewing with 
no ending in sight 
i fill up my mouth with the bulk of it 
try to talk through it
and choke 

i deserve this, i think 
as i force in another bite 
the guilt is mine
and when i fight for breath 
and spit it out
an unpleasant mess
i am left 
willing myself to change 

isn’t it strange? 
if guilt were smaller
i would not change. 

12:38pm - 12/11/25