acceptance (or not)

weary of my wits

I try to get better

not to become hollow

as what I've despised

I walk up the hills

only to slip off again

a perpetual hell

of never breathing free

is this a moment to accept

my fate?

everything I've worked on?

all the voices who had kept me going

all lost and distant now, abandoned

somewhere across the world

like spiders crawling all over me

the drug of the modern era

consumed by everything mindlessly

I am going blind, I am going blind

I crawl to ever catch what was lost

that sense of being conscious

of being alive

raining on dry leaves

falling down, falling down

time is moving on, and I am not

there isn't enough to think and write

when its always staring behind my eyes

longing for me, slithering to me

I accept this fate

cut off my arms, slit my throat

burn me to ashes

or drown me down the river

sell my body to the black market

I am all yours, demon

devour me whole

or maybe not.