You Handled It so Well

Vanna


Notice of absence from Vanna
I come and go. Sometimes I will post everyday for a week and then I won’t post for months.

“You handled it so well.” Did I? Or did I just let you believe I did?

I curled up at night, crying myself to sleep, wishing I wasn’t here.

I was constantly at war with myself, to the point where the only rest was sleep. I locked myself away for days. I couldn’t even stand looking in the mirror because of self‑hatred.

It got so bad I couldn’t even pray to God. I was in so much darkness — how could He want to talk to me?

I tried to tell them, but no one understood my pain. So I went numb. Because if no one understood, if no one could see it, maybe it wasn’t there. Maybe I just made it all up in my head.

Still, the evidence lingers, written on my skin and carved in my memory. I have emotional and physical scars from it, and yet you still didn’t see. You still didn’t understand.

I am so lost. I can’t tell you if I have healed or if I am lying to myself again.

So no, I didn’t handle it well.

  • Author: Vanna (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 10th, 2025 23:03
  • Comment from author about the poem: For those dealing with a pain greater than this world.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 9
  • Users favorite of this poem: freyaaa
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Comments +

Comments2

  • sorenbarrett

    Perceptions are often different from outside and inside. To others they may never see the pain held inside and feel that everything is all right when it is not. A poem of perspectives and trauma. Nicely written

    • Vanna

      Thank you

    • freyaaa

      Every. Single. Word. Exactly how I feel twin. Here for you always 🫰🫰

      • Vanna

        Thank you ❤️



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