Muddy Steps

Muddy Steps 
By:Chanel Taylor 

As I walk these fields of uncertainty and hope…..I step into a pile of knee deep slippery mud. As I feel the pull of the mixture slowly pull me down to the depths of the earth…panic slowly begins to build inside of me. I begin to fight the pull…the suction….the strength of the substance trying to form me into its own muddy pile. 

I slowly allow myself to yield the fight….I begin to relax my body….mind…and soul. I start to feel my heartbeat settle down to its normal pace. I realize I am not alone. I feel the force and protection of God pulling me out of this muddy substance. I feel relief….calmness….steadiness. As I am set free from the mud….I am faced with a mirror. I am forced to see what I came out of. Covered in attachments, fear, fear of myself, crawling back to fires that have been put out just for me to light them again. I saw my patterns….I saw the part of me that was begging to be set free from all of the pain and confusion. All of the fight for things that were running away from me…..My reflection put her hand out and said….”choose us….love us….fight for us…..that is the true gift….the true love you have been searching for”. I now sit with myself. I have cleaned all of the left over debris from her. I am smiling with in. I am growing with grace. My God is holding me up as I walk to the woman he has called me to be. She’s glowing….she is finally ready to take me as one. I am finally ready to become one with her. I found my true love.