Depressing Screaming

Some days I wake up already tired

Like my mind ran a Marathon

While my body just lay there

Pretending to rest

There’s no dramatic breakdown

No cinematic collapse

Just this constant pressure

Sitting behind my thoughts

Pushing

Pushing

Never enough to explode

Always enough to hurt

The scream isn’t loud

It’s not even a scream

It’s more like a steady hum

Of something’s wrong

That I can’t name

I can’t fix

I can’t outrun

I go through the motions

Work

Talk

Smile

Nod

Everyone thinks I’m fine

I’ve learned how to look fine

Inside

It’s like a room

With no air circulation

Every day the oxygen drops

Just a little more

I tell myself it’ll pass

I tell myself I’m strong

I tell myself a lot of things

Because silence is worse

But the truth is simple

I’m tired in a way sleep can’t touch

There’s a noise inside me

I don’t know how to quiet