"The Burden"

I don’t understand what I did wrong to deserve this

My Mental State is not good right now

People are hating me because I express how I feel

I can never trust anyone

Not even my closest friends or family

I can’t even rant to a friend without feeling guilty

Or a burden…I’m not normal

I’m hurting, and I don’t understand why

I have a better school

Better house

Better family

Better environment

And yet I’m still a burden.

I miss my old ELA teacher.

Mrs.Seyler.

She was kind.

At first, I thought she was psycho

But no, she wasn’t, then we became best friends

Then my father killed himself 

Then I had to transfer to a different school

My life became better until school came around

I’m getting called names

Getting bullied

And now my mental health is at its lowest

I act like I’m fine, but when all I ever do is try my hardest not to cry every.single.day..

I feel nothing, I’m numb, I have nothing to do

And like if someone ever asked if I was ok, I’d just sit there not knowing what to say.

I used to open up 

Now I just stay silent, letting my emotions take control

The only solution or distraction to coping with my feelings is writing them

And then burning them, so then people don’t see what I silently struggle through

My emotions get so built up that my sadness turns into anger, and anger turns to guilt.

And when I drink energy drinks, I get tired, not energized.

I’m struggling, but nobody understands

I’m fed up

I’m done.

If someone asked me to write how I feel down

My parents would get a call home.

It’s like pulling on a string, but that string is broken.

I lie to protect myself

I isolate myself from everyone

As soon as you get close, I push you away

I don’t let anybody in.

I keep stuff to myself.

And suffer alone in silence and back away from myself so people don’t have to worry about me.

It’s hard to understand.

Nobody seems to see if I’m ok..

My Body seems to fade

My happiness has been restrained

It’s all bottled up inside my brain

And I can’t contain it…

I’m suffering alone in silence

Nobody knows what I go through

I can’t explain my pain

And I’m too afraid to feel

And I can’t deal with all that I have lost

I feel like life is just a game.

A game I can’t win, a game where you don’t understand

It’s difficult to reciprocate

I’m dying, I’m an endless field

And I’m yelling out for help

But no one listens

I try to help others

While I am suffering myself

Things aren’t that great right now

And now that I’m on the edge of a cliff

I want to jump, but it just seems I can’t

I want to get out

And I keep asking for help

No one understands

It’s been heartbreaking trying to survive

When nobody cares

I lost three of my friends

And now I’m all alone 

I don’t know what to do 

But I’m sure that you’ll leave too.

Poem Written by

Kailey Maire Henry.