Unsure why [email protected]...

gets her jollies electronically threatening me,
finding this wordsmith feeling a bit scared,

which subsequent lines of poetry
lack absolute zero relevance
to said title,
but my mind functions in quirky ways.

The following matter never didst amuse

for no logical rhyme or reason,
nor handy dandy blue's clues

why thee above named female

bombards me with scare tactics,
yours truly neither
endorses nor eschews
additionally I would dislike
being fawned over
analogous to gurus
which self anointed
cue Maharishi Mahesh Yogi,
who purportedly did infuse
the Beatles with
transcendental meditation,
a discipline I used to practice
and did experience peace
of body, mind, and spirit

long before said founder of TM
passed away on February 5, 2008,
at his home in Vlodrop,
Netherlands, at age 91
and shortly thereafter witnessed
a mob of kangaroos
wearing Dutchman's breeches
jumping in close proximity

to said site where
splinter factions claimed

revered sage to be their holy muse

yet to me, his claimed
super powers news

I took with a grain of salt

and no longer pursues
daily regimen sitting
with outstretched feet,
cuz no way no how
can these legs of mine
fold into the Lotus position,
which inflexibility I refuse

to test, but would rather subject
opposable digit to thumbscrews

though most other
Tom, Dick or Harry
would favor less tortuous views.

Please pardon thee above yickety yak

anyway with a "Wickedy wack"
(often spelled wiggity-wack, -

a 1990s slang term
meaning extremely uncool,
lame, bad, or fake,
often used to describe
something of very low quality),
I got way off track

but all joking aside -
bow down at mine feet,
yepper me with gnarly toenails,

cuz yours truly no quack

but an honest to doggone duck
unlike by dark hued parents,
I plainly appear nonblack
nevertheless seek
to be included
among people of color
because many possess
a knick knack
paddywhack give your dog a bone

(linkedin to a phrase
from the19th-century
British nursery rhyme
"This Old Man",
primarily used to teach
counting to ten)

but now miniature computers
and/or cell phones
made obsolete that once catchy hack

and learning courtesy
outdated rhymes,
whose meaning long since lost,

and laughable and
to be more exact
why tax the noggin unnecessarily
unless alone in the wilderness,
and must needs
rely on basic math

to calculate the most
ideal site to bivouac

especially when rays
of sunlight dawn,
consisting of particles
called photons alas and alack.