Squeaky clean Yiddish-er vaunted as mastermind...

behind stealing the secret formula
in a heist for the record books,
whereat the chemical romance
to secure the sought after recipe
for WD-40 pulled off
without a (cocked) hitch
left the securities dumbfounded
how the tranquilized security details
(courtesy an invisible
yet fragrant aroma
euthanized guards
no matter they happened
to be tricked out
as super tramps
dressed to the hilt
in sophisticated protective gear)
how in tarnation
such a brazen act
got pulled off in plain sight
of the surveillance system
and cadre of security alarm system
discovered to be deactivated
courtesy agents provocateurs,
who worked in tandem
with a team of professional
offsite top notch cybercriminals,
whose infamous
curriculum vitae of sorts
included help rig the election
to guarantee a Democratic landslide
after the midterm 2026 elections
at long last resuscitating
inalienable rights
of life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
and essentially trumping
the former forty seventh
president of these United States.

Months in the planning
and mock practicing
the daring do courtesy
countless simulated scenarios
anticipating a detailed contract
that (even imagine dragons stupefied -
to breathe their fire)
hinted at all possible contingencies
even portrayed
where professional thespians
(pledging an oath
of absolute zero discussion
per their role playing
in confidential pact
signed with a dollop
of their blood)
convincingly acted out
the roles of menacing interlopers
(played to an empty house
with closed and locked doors
where sentries with keys
watched out
for an occasional inquisitive
Ozark Mountain Daredevils),
who nonchalantly
swaggered with bravado
surreptitiously
and strategically planting
fake time release mechanisms
that would issue forth
odorless and tasteless
potent secret gas
to knock for six
any breathing
and living creature
wise and wonderful, and all things
bright and beautiful
for a minute radius.

Being the author
of this anecdote
allows, enables, and provides
freedom to empower myself
with the knowledge
of keen insight
about every detail
from the origination
of the plot,
and any conveniently
unnamed participants
where with unnamed characters
invested with heavily guarded material,
and I could easily force them
to forget any shred of memory
as if much ado nothing
about nothing transpired,
and all's well that ends well,
thus no need to worry
about sharing the ingenuity
of this modest wordsmith,
(who claims the magic power
to cast spells to erase
every remembrance
of what eyes gleaned
from the screen,
and whose real disposition
qualified as peace loving
and conscientious
towards people as well as
other living beings
even the supposed thieving magpie,
which avian species
shown courtesy studies
that said birds
do not exhibit
a special attraction
to shiny items in fact
they often react
in a nervous manner
toward them and more likely
to ignore them,
notes BBC article.

Nevertheless, the mere mention
of the tidbit gleaned
from The Week magazine
about said item (WD-40 formula)
will invariably set cogs and wheels
within the noggin of some reader
(perhaps short article
shared with a family member or friend)
might suddenly find her/himself
fixated on dreaming up a scheme
to snatch such cherished information,
and goes to great length
to map out a foolproof strategy
first off to get access
find documentation of
research paper or schematic
secured in a bank vault
at an undisclosed
Bank of America location
in San Diego, California
and treated
as a highly protected trade secret,
with only a few top executives
having access to the document,
and yours truly possesses
absolute zero interest
to pursue what the inventor
who chose hers/his patent, 

to remain under lock and key

and being no chemist,
henceforth lack any ways or means
to decipher the constituent
elements of style
uniquely bonded to create WD-40
("Water Displacement, 40th formula")
a versatile, petroleum-based
aerosol spray used as a lubricant,
penetrating oil, cleaner,
and rust preventative.