make it work

there are dead flowers 
slotted between the pages
of the book i inherited 
from my great grandmother 
and the cover still smells
like the strange, dusty home 
i adored 

the wall, beside their staircase 
was covered, top to bottom
in butterflies 
real ones, preserved 
and other animals too
a wildcat, snarling
teeth bared and sharp
owls, observing 
a squirrel, perched on a branch 
their table was glass and beneath it
glass grapes, gleaming and green
their bathroom a shrine
to different insects
tiny little ants, spiders sprawled out
unapologetic 
insects i couldn’t even name
with far too many legs
and an unreasonable number of eyes 
but i found peace in knowing 
that here, things were strange 
green carpet and yellow ceilings
and yet somehow, it worked 
somehow, they made it work

somehow, i make things work
the strange things
the house buying, the paperwork
the confusion
the “sorry, could you explain that?
i have not a single idea what that means”
i make it work
the body i am encapsulated in
tired, aching
aging and breaking
i am 21 and already anticipating 
the day i see my skin start flaking 
i am making it work
i am getting up, up, up
every day
anyway 

there are dead flowers
in the pages of the book i inherited
from my great grandmother 
and sweets, hard boiled
in the silver cigarette case i found 
dropped on a desolate street 
there are love notes, spiralling
tucked into the edges
of the pill bottle 
and the decaying garage,
gaunt, once gorgeous 
now a guttering gyre 
i saw, in the gaps, cracks 
of the wall
fairy lights, strung
in the most 
dreary place
happiness is hung 

there is poetry
in the margins of my workbook
and biscuits kept safely
in my first aid kit
for emergencies only
because sometimes, an emergency
is simply a cry for shortbread 

in all of the strange, sad
we make it work
in all of the dreary
there is good

there is goodness
in me
a place i would not 
expect it to be 
there is goodness here,
that i hold
bright and bold 
there is happiness strung 
where you would not image 
it could ever be hung 

sometimes, i am bad
but also, i am good

someday, i know
i will be understood. 

12:56pm - 23/02/26