What could have been 

Grief is such a strange feeling

Because why am I grieving someone I never met

I have no memories spent with him 

Never spoke to him 

Only seen him in pictures 

Maybe I am grieving the idea of him 

The idea of my first sibling 

The world would've been less empty 

He would have given me a purpose

Someone to protect 

Someone to love 

I have the memories of my mother building him 

The miracle of her stomach growing 

But no baby came home 

Just a small blue box

There is this dark, insistent voice

Consuming me year after year 

Telling me there is nothing for me to mourn 

I keep fearing the whispers will continue to eat at me 

Make me believe the words they tell me