Eternal

sorenbarrett

I thought that we would be forever but time grew between us and closed the door
Now I look through fogged windows of memory and what was is no more
Shadows grow on the wall where once sun's brightness fell
A fairytale candle burnt out and small as the wisdom of age broke its spell
Night brings childhood dreams to a grey capped sleepy head
A whisper it seems from darkness wed said put out the light, go to bed
I close my eyes to star filled skies and slowly drift to sleep
Daytime lies become lullabies as shadows through eyelids seep

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Comments +

Comments15

  • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

    a cracking write

  • Mutley Ravishes

    I felt this one, Soren, even though I`ve had the good fortune of never losing something/someone I thought would be "forever." Well, the magic of childhood upped and left, however I think that can be found again.

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you Mutley for the read and comment it is most appreciated and valued

    • David Wakeling

      For me this is a sad break up of a relationship whether that relationship is with a person or Life itself. I enjoy the rhyme but it certainly is a deep reflection.Excellent

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you David for the read and the comment as well as interpretation. It is most valued my friend

      • Teddy.15

        Thank you for this my dear sorrenbarret, I am indeed seeing shadows. 🌹

        • sorenbarrett

          I thank you Teddy for your review and kind words they are always appreciated as you know.

        • Paul Bell

          Time makes no difference it seems, and at night when the mind is lucid, it just replays making it worse.
          Forever it seems is what makes humans search for meaning.
          You can see why people go back searching for lost loves.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you Paul for the review and understanding words. People are hard on themselves and find it difficult to move on instead choosing to linger in a past of what might have been in another dimension of choices where things turn out different.

          • Poetic Licence

            This is a bit of a heart tugger, alot of sadness in those reflective words, I felt it was written with a very caring hand and from a heart that still loves and remembers, well penned.

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you Tobani your sensitive eye sees through the disguise of time. Love that is real never dies but only grows but in the wisdom of its growth becomes acceptance

              • Poetic Licence

                You're welcome

              • Tristan Robert Lange

                Soren, this carries a gentle melancholy that lingers. The fogged windows, the fading candle, and the final image of shadows seeping through eyelids all weave together naturally. It feels like looking back without trying to rewrite what was. Thoughtful and moving, my dear friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thank you Tristan your words are most kind and cherished. As the candle burns down and darkness approaches one remembers the light of day but with tired eyes welcomes the darkness and its peace

                  • Tristan Robert Lange

                    Amen. Indeed. You are most welcome, Soren!

                  • Thomas W Case

                    Excellent work, my friend.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you very much Thomas

                    • orchidee

                      A fine write SB.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you Orchi it is appreciated

                      • Allie561

                        Forever seems to sometimes mean never. I could feel the pain in this Soren. Candles can burn for a long time but eventually there’s nothing left to light, I hope you can find peace with this whether it’s just metaphorical or true.

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you very much for the read and comment it is most appreciated.

                          • Allie561

                            You’re very welcome

                          • Kevin Hulme

                            I can relate to this . A fine write.

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thank you for your read Kevin your comments are appreciated

                            • arqios

                              I close my eyes as well for our skies are always clouded over when there are so many stars behind their tufts🙏🏻🕊️

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you Cryptic for the review and kind words they are always most appreciated

                              • NafisaSB

                                Golden memories and silver tears- beautifully written

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  Thank you so much for your read and comment as always it is most appreciated

                                  • NafisaSB

                                    You are most welcome.

                                  • Joseph M Marion

                                    I love this this touches me deeply too of things past unsure of what to do You have to fog rises in the morning and brings clarity to view you fall to your knees and cry cuz you just don't know what to do.

                                    • sorenbarrett

                                      Thank you so much Joseph for your review and kind words of support and encouragement they are most appreciated

                                    • James Michael

                                      Blew my FN brain, luckily without a bullet

                                      • sorenbarrett

                                        Thanks so much for the read and comment James it is most appreciated



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