Redemption and Apologies

As I get older,more mature

And dwell upon what I've endured

When I was enchanted by the allure

Of thoughts and actions not so pure

Acquainted with those I shouldn't have been

Forgoing good in lieu of sin

Holding My cards when I should've said gin

Which worsened the quandary that I was in

Living My days as if they could be my last

Not as guaranteed as those in My past

Just when I think the die has been cast

My reflection confronts Me to say not so fast

Failures that depressed Me no longer do

As perspective has usurped those I was used to

We're told three outs are the end of an inning 

But now I choose to believe that they're just the beginning

The times that I've thought of or tried suicide

Often preceded by the tears that I've cried 

Cascading from eyes that have since opened wide 

To those thoughts having themselves all but died 

Because life's a job and I'll work till My death

Not one by My hand,but one nonetheless

So as to confront what too long's been suppressed

Not so much as that which I have as that not yet addressed

So Mom and Dad Your kid's okay

He's made it through another Day

Just how I can't begin to say

Though I assure You it will stay that way

Now each time that You look down on Me

You'll be proud of who You see

And that's how it shall always be

Til We meet in eternity