I feel like I’m the poem ..and not the poet

I never really wanted to fall in love this way,
And honestly, the timing couldn’t be any worse, I’d say.
Yet here I am, smiling at my phone like a fool,
Blushing at your texts, breaking every rule.

Sometimes I wonder where you’ve been all this time,
Like you were a missing piece I was meant to find.
Sometimes your love scares me , feels so rare and kind,
Like something too perfect for this little heart of mine.

If you ask me, “Do you love me?” I’d probably say no,
But I’ve been falling for you since the day your feelings showed.
I’m still too unsure to admit what my heart wants to say,
I want to take it slow, but at the same time rush your way

Sometimes I want to step back and ask you to move on,
To find another girl,  coz I feel Like I don’t belong.
But then I want to hold you close and keep the world away,
Fight you off in fear, while secretly wishing you’d stay.

Even though I tell you I’m not ready for us yet,
I’ve already made us a cute bucket list
Though I say marriage is a thought that scares me deep inside,
I’ve caught myself in a white dress, standing right by your side.

And when I look at you a little longer than I should,
I see our future kids and a life that feels so good.

I love the way you talk, and how you pause mid-sentence for me,
Stopping your words just to hear what mine might be.
I love how your eyes light up when you say you love me,
Like your whole world begins and ends where I might be.

I love how you understand me without a single explanation,
Like my silence itself speaks our whole conversation.
I love how you show me places and thoughts I never knew,
And how you smile so softly when I say something nice to you.

I love how you make me laugh on days I feel undone,
I love how you listen to me, like my words truly matter to someone.
I love that you handle my thousand different sides,
Every mood, every silence, every storm that hides.

I love how you  seem to put me first somehow,
I love the admiration that lives in your eyes when you look at me now.
I love how you talk about my paintings and every little piece of my art,
Like you’re reading the quiet stories hidden in my heart.

I love it when you tell the story of how you fell in love with me,
I love how you never fail to leave me a sweet compliment.
I love that you notice the tiniest things in my life,
And I love it when you simply call me pretty.

Sometimes I even love how you get on my nerves,
And how quickly you mend the little storms you cause.
I love how you brighten my mood and give me reasons to smile,
And how you make me feel like I deserve a love so worthwhile.

I love the way you say you want to love me for the rest of your life,
Like a promise whispered softly in the middle of the night.
And for the first time in all the poems I’ve written through it all,
I feel like I’m the poem… and not the poet at all.