Scattered pebbles of pain, butterflies of joy, icebergs of jealousy, biting flies that annoy
Love burnt scars from iron bars of fear, guilt's sticky tars, a look in the mirror
Spilt from the mouths of poets tormented souls, written in their blood on living parchment rolls
Criticism how easy, spitting out seeds in public is sleezy, drooling on another's food makes my stomach queasy
To piss on one's life freely opened in a journal, is flushing tears down the mouth of a dirty urinal
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Author:
sorenbarrett (
Offline) - Published: March 14th, 2026 02:59
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 96
- Users favorite of this poem: Carmen Luca, Friendship, Tristan Robert Lange, Teddy.15, Efrain Cajar, William Hromada, Awam
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Comments12
thoroughly enjoyed its grit
Thank you so much Norman for the review and comment it is very much appreciated
most welcome
There’s so much craft in every verse. I absolutely loved how artfully you described ignorance.
Thank you Carmen I deeply appreciate your words of support and encouragement
Good write SB. There's a bit in older Bible versions in the Old Testament of 'Destroying enemies; even every one that pisseth against a wall' - i.e. males! It sounds a gross way of putting it, but probably derogatory, as in, e.g. 'the whole lot of you enemies will be destroyed; you've had your final chance'.
Just love those old lines that somehow slipped through the censor to modern times. Thanks so much Orchi for the read and comment
Criticism is complicated. I mean an educated critique is one thing but just giving a personal opinion is a waste especially if it is negative. A touch of anger and despair in this powerful work.
Thanks David your insight is correct. Although I am not imune from criticism and sometimes it smarts I have a pretty tough skin but I have seen instances when it is used on the weak and young and it has discouraged them from trying. I try to encourage the young to write, it is a dying art and too few are interested in it. When a see a child bullied by an adult and they leave the site afraid to write it angers me.
Love "scattered pebbles of pain". Powerful. Masterfully written as always.
I thank you most humbly Katie for taking your time to review this piece it is as always most appreciated and valued
A powerful statement. Your poem explores the duality of criticism and its impact on the human experience. It juxtaposes the pain and suffering that come from judgment and scrutiny with the fleeting joys and emotions that accompany love and creativity. The emphasis is on the destructive nature of criticism and the vulnerability of those who create art. On the other hand, the poem serves as a cathartic reflection on the nature of criticism, urging readers to consider the impact of their words on others. It advocates for empathy and understanding in the face of vulnerability.
So true Friendship it was inspired by seeing young artists squashed with adult criticism an unfair advantage in an artistic race. Thank you for the read and comment it is appreciated
You're very welcome, my friend.
Soren, this carries a sharp honesty about the cost of putting real life onto the page. The line about poets spilling their blood on living parchment rolls is the image that stayed with me. It captures how personal writing can feel…like pieces of a life laid openly on the page. Reading this made me think about how exposing real emotion in writing always carries risk. When someone shares something honest, it’s never just words…it’s part of themselves. Your poem captures that tension between vulnerability and judgment really well. Thought-provoking piece, my friend and a fave. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you so much Tristan I appreciate your review and understanding words they mean a great deal
Most welcome, Soren! My pleasure!
Well stipulated sir sorenbarrett .. Sticks n stones spring to mind .. None hurt as much as when we sling them upon ourselves, do they .. Neville 😎👍
Thanks so much Neville I appreciate the read and comment and I don't mind sticks or stones (as long as they are not big ones) but it hurts me to see them thrown at someone else's baby
This is most magnificent, I love your bold language and yes! Fabulous 🌹 kudos on your honesty, a community very much in rivalry
Thanks so much Teddy I appreciate your read and support it is most valued
On the evidence presented here, I think your heart's in the right place, Soren. Probably a matter of why, when and how.
Thanks so much Dave you are most kind my friend and it is appreciated.
To piss on one's life freely opened in a journal, is flushing tears down the mouth of a dirty urinal
great I opine
You are most kind and your support is most appreciated
mind under pressure where words and images tumble over each other....and metaphors scraping the reader.
Thank you so much Awam for the review and kind words of support they are most appreciated
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