Revised but Sixpence none the Richer nor more comprehensible version

"Death by a thousand cuts" (or cuts by a thousand knives) refers to a scenario where a major failure, collapse, or immense pain is caused by many small, seemingly minor, and gradual problems rather than one single, sudden event. It describes a process of slow, incremental destruction or weakening.

I reckon eyes writhing torment
of mine when just a youth
ground until pulp thru the rumor mill,
which turned out bloody broadsheets
announcing yours truly as a scapegoat
pluperfect - tense past perfect
target for bullies
internalized "Death by a thousand cuts"
(or cuts by a thousand knives),
and still experience feeling aggrieved
(feeling resentment
at having been unfairly treated)
against passivity towards
those who bullied me
during those emotionally fraught
(seized sword) salad days of mine,
but chastise and in retrospect rebuke myself
for sustaining that self hatred
not so much against siblings of mine
(two loving sisters -
an older and younger),
but those vicious tormenters whose
harried styled and
swiftly tailored cruelty
found me wanting to retreat
(within the seclusion
of boyhood bedroom)
versus daring to put up
my verbal and physical dukes
to parry and thrust slings and arrows
subsequently where hindsight
hashtags me as farcical
comic-tragic laughable rendition
of The Übermensch
(German for "Overman" or "Superman" -
a philosophical ideal introduced
by Friedrich Nietzsche
in Thus Spoke Zarathustra,
representing a person
who creates their own values,
transcends conventional morality,
and embraces life's challenges),
this mentally challenged
battle scarred singular brother,
(whose post traumatic stress
disordered corporeal material suffered
analogous these war weary
lovely bones never won me
any purple heart),
who now recoils when
remembrance of things past
parallel close encounters of the third kind
found me alienated
like some extraterrestrial
within the distant and recent past
at all those unintentional hurts
towards thee and deux lovely daughters
(begat only to weather blistering upbringing
between a rock and hard place),
whose exemplary living lives breeds envy
(cause both took flight
out of a tattered unkempt nest,
and found self confidence acquiring reliance)
that I the second offspring and sole son
of our parents - both deceased
without their male progeny resolving
cumulative assaults upon mine psyche,
and whose psychological foibles
irrational behavior such as
obsessive compulsive actions or thoughts,
which robbed precious energy and time
for healthy development
instead wrought body dysmorphia,
plus mined and dispirited mindset,
never asked to join not ready
for prime time players
mein kampf germanely linkedin
relegated to underwater basket weaving
recount absent presence
registering existence as null and avoid
during trials when thee
or our parents experienced duress
linkedin to travails
for instance of trickery
courtesy swindlers/defrauders
(during dark hours
when dad got laid off
from General Electric
and adding insult to injury),
when he got caught up
in sophisticated fishy dragnet
courtesy roving mountebanks
(id est) scam artists
that throve (analogous to raptors
feasting on vulnerable prey),
nor never comforting mother dearest
while she breathed in wispy voice
across the telephone,
that sounded bajillion miles away
never witnessing her last gasps,
whereat I now revisit
those traumatic events
as well as others
involving the then
unfairly hashtagged sketchy
Stiefel's who lived adjacent
to Arcola, Pennsylvania bridge,
who thee befriended
while a student of hard knocks -
just like yours truly at Methacton
realizing my stinginess
toward placating any
of their agonizing emotions
when ye stayed out late at night
within their being,
and thus make feeble attempt
to express care
and concern with you,
who understandably and sadly
cannot escape mortality,
the demise and ultimate
forced deprivation of living
among loved ones and friends
begging the cosmic force
(or whatever processes
begat the human race)
of purpose asper
being born in the first place,
which becomes the penultimate query
with laser like focus,
and while the time
allows, enables, and provides
opportunity to acknowledge
thee as a gift
to those lucky enough
to be affected courtesy
your good Unitarian graces,
such a charming sibling
where one sexagenarian brother
communicates to his older sister,
thirteen months and
about twelve days his senior
ofttimes realizes an
immense positive selflessness
impact on my life and hard times,
an awareness that dawned
fairly late in life for me,
but today doth grant
the chance to say yes oh yes
I LOVE YOU!