Empty Hands

Where once my hands 

were filled with you

now they are empty.

I leaned into your scent

the way I now lean into grief.

Without you 

there is no music.

Even my words 

cannot breathe.

Every day I fight

to be near you.

There is nothing 

I would not endure 

just to see your face again.

I never noticed 

the sadness of objects.

I can't return safely 

from this darkness.

Even if you came back,

it would never be enough.

My mind plays

such cruel tricks.

Laughing with you 

in the sunshine 

while crying in bed,

fetal.

And still,

I love you.