Gaze.

In front of people, I puff out my chest in pride —

“My Lord is with me; He will never leave me nor forsake me.”

But as soon as I’m alone,

I start to doubt,

fear grips hold of me.

reality drowns me in its depth.

I shut my eyes tight.

I struggle to find breath,

trying to grab on to something,

but I find nothing left.

Slowly drowning,

my mind spiraling —

“I won’t make it out alive.”

“God… if You’re watching me, help me survive.”

If?

Was I really questioning God?

As I sink deeper, hope starts to fade.

With the last ounce of faith i own 

I open my eyes and look up to the heavens 

reaching out my hand, 

remembering how You rescued Peter,

surrounding him in Your presence.

With that in mind,

I look up 

and finally,

I see You.

You pull me out of the waves,

And as my gaze rests upon you.

 Darkness turns into light,I'm amazed

You call me yours 

And shine your face upon mine.

Now i can breathe just fine.

 Truly, I now realize —

That faith wasn't about never drowning,

or always standing strong and unshaken.

It’s about who reaches for you

when the waves pull you under,

It’s about where your eyes are fixed

when fear surrounds you,

and who your gaze finds

when darkness tries to bind.

                                        -Ociel