No Regrets (Disappointed by a Friend)

*written as a spoken word poem for a performance* (performance pending).

Just because you gave up on us,

doesn't mean I lost my capacity for love,

You may have walked away in the dark

but I remember, that feeling hard

I never thought in a million years

it would end up this way,

I didn't think I'd have these words to say

Thank you for the memories,

I think about them time to time

They don't mean as much to me now

but I cant forget them, I wouldn't even try

it's hard to forgive impossible to forget

I don't regret knowing you, I regret handling the rest

some pills are hard to swallow,

You thought I had a bulletproof vest,

I wasn't though, and you put that to the test

tried your best to tear me down

after telling me I was nothing but the best.

let if fester inside your brain,

go insane, whatever you need to do,

just don't do it again.

Take a step back and remember the pain,

there are lessons to gain,

from all the splinters in our friendship

I really thought we would've, could've made it

You clearly chose not to get help,

stepped back into your overwhelm,

I get it, kinda hate it.

Dissociated.

No matter what went down,

I'll never forget,

How kind you could be,

how generous you seemed,

Loved hard, tried to redeem,

but your demons took you deep,

I'd bet now that you still can't sleep

Smoking away distant memories,

Working in a factory,

wasting away in your 30s.

I'm sad for you,

In a way I cant explain,

We are bonded by a severe amount of pain.

I'll never recover enough to forget,

But I promise you now, I've no regrets.

Written by SJ 04/12/25