Trembling Hands

six years ago  

my body was a storm  

shaking like a leaf in autumn  

pressed between  

two bottles of vodka  

and a bed of shame  

i watched the light dim  

slowly shrinking in my chest  

while my hands searched  

for a way out  

they only found more rubble  

more breaking  

more ending  

but today  

i hold myself differently  

steady as sunrise  

soft as whispered forgiveness  

sixty-nine years of falling  

and finally  

learning how to catch myself  

the journey stretched me thin  

pulled me raw and aching  

but sobriety planted itself  

where the emptiness used to grow  

and now  

every breath feels  

like a tiny miracle happening.